Monday, July 16, 2012

I'll see you soon


So this is my final blog. I just want to let everyone know how I’ve been doing since coming home.
First, I want everyone to know that the last 6 months of my exchange were the best of my life. I cannot describe the joy the last 6 months brought me. Sure, I missed home but compared to how much I miss Hungary now that was nothing. I loved my life. I loved my friends- and I became closer to them than I ever have with anyone else. I was independent. I was travelling. I got to see Europe and I spent every day doing fun things with my best friends.  At the end of June most of my best friends had gone home so at that point I felt that I was ready to come home. Of course the hardest part of goodbye I thought was over. I had said goodbye to the girl I’d spent everyday for 5 and half months with, Annika. I’d said goodbye to my Budapest clan, Devin and Max. I said goodbye to Nicole, Shabree, Terry, Arthur, Bianka, Taylor, and Parcsa- the people who had saved my life the first 4 months and made my exchange. Leaving on July 2 I cried when I left my host parents- who ended being a great family for me. I cried when the plane took off- not knowing when I’d see my favorite city again. I cried on and off on the flight to Detroit because I thought about the year and the fact that I made it. I survived it. But mostly the fact that I just couldn’t believe it had been 10 months and it was over. I started this process over 2 years ago and it is all over with. For 2 years my mind constantly thought about it and it is over. To tell you the truth, that concept is still not hit me. I don’t want it to be over. Accepting that it is still really difficult.
I haven’t cried much since I got home. The first two days were difficult. I’ve thought about it a lot and I think reverse culture shock is much, much worse than culture shock. I was okay until this past weekend. It was the exchange student weekend for the all the exchange students in our conference area. To me if felt like a constant reminder. A reminder that my exchange is over, that I will be sad a lot, that high school will be miserable, that I can’t go back soon and that life will not be that exciting anymore. I had to watch all the new kids going out and how excited they were and it killed me. I just want to get in a time machine and head back to last August. There were lots of lows but many more highs and I just wish I could relive it. The worst part is knowing that even if I go back to Budapest it won’t be the same- my best friends won’t be there, it won’t be for as long, things will have changed. I can never go back to what I had. Accepting that has also been very difficult.
When I was on my flight from Frankfurt to Budapest last August I felt between two worlds. I had left everything I knew and at that point I was between to unfamiliar places- Germany and Hungary. That is exactly how I feel now. Except that flight was an hour or so and this has been 2 weeks. Hungary seems like home now and I am caught between knowing that Hungary is not the same now but neither is the US. I think I glorified home a lot when I was gone. I’m home now and the food isn’t as good as I remember. My bed is not as comfortable. The dollar is soooooo expensive compared to the Forint. I spend my days doing nothing. I drive my mom around because I’m trying to get my license and I watch tv episodes on my computer. I am reminded of everything I have to do-finding a college, college applications, swimming, high school senior year, getting a license, senior pictures.  My friends are so busy now with work and other things that I feel like I don’t see them much at all. I guess it is just lonely. It feels like the beginning of my exchange all over again- lonely with not much to do missing home. I miss home in 2 ways. I miss home; home being Hungary and I miss home; home being Michigan before I left. So much has changed in my life- including me- that I feel like I don’t fit into my own life. Excepting a new reality is a part of reverse culture shock and it is terrible.

So since this is my last blog I’d like everyone to know this year was by far the year of my life. I changed into a more mature, independent, loving person. I grew up and I learned so much about myself, others, and the world. I cannot put the benefits of this year into words. It was the best decision I will probably ever make to leave in August even though it killed me at the time. Leaving Michigan was the hardest thing I had ever done- but coming home and dealing with reverse culture shock is sooooooooo much worse.  For any student out there who is thinking about going- do it. It will be one of the best, most rewarding things you will ever do. I loved Hungary and I loved the people I met and I will never forget them or the experiences I had. Despite all the sadness I feel now and all the lows I had while there I would do it again 1000000000000x over. It was worth it.
Lastly, to put a song to my mood.

Szeretlek, Magyarország. 

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Recent Happenings


So I know it has been to long since I updated this- but to me this life is normal now so writing this doesn't seem as important. Anyways - I've been living in Budapest for awhile now and I loveee it! I always thought I would like living in the city but it is so much better than I imagined. There is always something to do and even when you can't think of anything you can just walk around and seeing the beauty never gets old!! Budapest is truely like the most beautiful city (maybe I'm just biased) but I haven't gotten over it. The Danube is such a beautiful color and all the buildings along it make so much cooler. Everytime I ride one of the trams to Pest from Buda or vice versa we go over one of the bridges and staring out I always think about how lucky and grateful I am to have this year. And to be living here; in the capital! I feel so blessed. I can't imagine that in just 2 months I have to leave. I can't make myself think about it- it is too hard. The people I've met this year have been some of the most amazing people I've ever met and they have completely changed me (in a good way of course) and the fact that I leave them to breaks my heart. Like I've always said- there is no bond like an exchange student bond! I know going to Midland will be good because I'll see my bestfriends again and my pets and my family and my American lifestyle but I think it will be beyond difficult. I will miss Budapest and the city life and my host family and my best friends here and having no school work and public transportation!!! God, I will miss public transportation. I think the only negative part of being an exchange student- you get to live an amazing life full of new things, new people, new food, new places, lots of traveling, and experiences up the wazzoo but it is only for a year. If someone gave me the option to stay another year living my same life I do now- no doubt I would take it. But since I know I have to leave I am very happy I was born into the generation of Internet users. Lucky that it is so easy to stay connected.

But enough about that! I figured I could update you on what I've been doing! So spring break I spent in another city (Győr) visiting my friends and hanging out with them- lots of fun! Then I had a Hungarian Easter- very similar to ours except not as much candy. Then the day after the have a "sprinkling" day. Basically the boys and men spray perfume and water on the women for good fertility. My host dad just sprayed me with perfume- I got off easy. Some of my friends were woken up by having water dumped on them and others just got attacked by squirt guns. Then came the Poland trip! 
The rotary took us to Poland for a weekend. Friday was all driving and then that night we went into Krakow and explored and had a good time. Saturday we visited Auschwitz (concentration camp). I cannot describe that experience. It was the worst place I've ever been. Just knowing that you are standing at the very pits of humanity and where the very worst type of human suffering happened. It was numbing. Some people cried; others (like myself) were just numb and silent. I felt nauseous the whole time. By the time we finished birkenau i was ready to leave. Birkenau was the work part (part 2) and there was a labor area and then Auschwitz part 1 was the worst part. This is where the experiements were held; the "hospital" that you didnt want to ever end up at; the sterilizations; the Gestapo held the "court cases" and then executed the "criminals" by gunshot on the death wall; ect, ect. We went inside the barracks where people slept 5 to a bunk
On a bed of wet straw filled with ticks and other nastiness. In one building slept about 700 women. 700!!! This might not be as appalling to you because I cannot think of a way to make you understand how small the barracks were. By far the saddest part was walking down "death road". After the cattle cars arrived at Birkenau men and women were separated and the "doctors" would sort the people- those who could work to the right; those who couldn't (all childen under the age of 13 and their mothers, elderly, overweight) to the left. On the left is a long dirt road. That dirt road was the last road most people who went to Auschwitz walked. At the end of it were the gas chambers. And 2 hours after the walk all those people were just ashes. By the ruins of the gas chambers (the Nazis destroyed them once they knew the Russians were coming) there are pits in the ground that were filled with all the peoples ashes. (They aren't now). But a friend of mine asked if we could walk around the other side the field (not along the path) and the tour guide said no because you would be walking on ashes. A field full of ashes!! The way it is set up now is that Birkenau has been left pretty much the way it was evacutated. The polish government burned down most of the barracks and the Nazis burnt lots of things so they wouldn't been implicated and the barracks have obviously been cleaned and changed so people can go through them and there are signs that give historical information but besides that it is very quiet and eerie and undisturbed. Auschwitz part 1 has been changed to more of a museum. They have display cases filled with tons of Jewish possessions; glasses, luggage, clothes, shoes, hairbrushes, shoe polish- and the worst- human hair. There is a case filled with human hair and experts think the collection was taken from about 140,000 people. I learned Hungary lost tons of Jews - at one point in 1944 German forces were sending 8,000 Hungarian Jews to Auschwitz daily. Daily! So it was a very intense experience. 
Then we left and went to a famous polish salt mine then back to krakow and went into the city again. then sunday we drove home. 
Then on 4/20 I went to another city (Szeged) to see my friends for my birthday. I came home on my birthday and then celebrated with my Budapest friends
I have been very busy or I would be blogging more. Everyday is an adventure and I'm loving it!  

Saturday, February 11, 2012

How I'm feeling

This is one my best exchange student friend's blogs. It pretty much sums up exactly how I feel as well so instead of rewriting it I figured you can just read hers :)


http://magyarnicole.blogspot.com/2012/02/honestly.html

Sunday, January 15, 2012

December and January so far.

So I already wrote this and it got deleted. Round 2!
I know I don't blog enough but it takes soo much time. & I procrastinate. Anyways-
December! In December I went to a Rihanna concert with the other exchange students and that was a good time. We were in the standing section and we enjoyed not only the music but the people around as well :)
That night I stayed at my second host families house and then the next day I went to meet all the exchange students because we had a trip that weekend! We first went to Gyor (favorite city previously blogged about) because the Gyor club was hosting that weekend. So we spent Friday night in Gyor and then on Saturday we went to Vienna, Austria! (My school went the previous Tuesday so I had already been) but it was still good. I spent the day with Annika (Colorado), Nicole (California) and Lolo (South Africa- technically Botswana). Lolo and some other South Africans came to Hungary for a 5 week summer exchange and already left :(. Anyways, that night we went back to Gyor and then next day (Sunday) I went to my 2nd host families house again and then home to Gyongyos.
The next weekend I went to my tutor, Eszter,'s house and hung out with her and her daughter (age 9). We played games and I made buckeyes. If I do say so myself they were excellent. :) So that was another good weekend.
Then came Christmas. I won't say much but it wasn't that great. I missed home and it didn't resemble regular Christmas to me. We opened presents on the 24th and didn't do anything the 25th. Just seemed like another day. But on Christmas eve I skyped with my parents who were at my grandparents house and so I talked to my extended family and I "hung out" with them via skype. That made me feel much better.
Then the 26th! My dad came to visit! That was amazing. He had never been to Europe and I missed him a lot so it was great. That night we walked around Budapest (5 miles including up a small mountain- it was too foggy to see over the city though). Then on the 27th we went to Gyongyos and visited with my host parents and Eszter. On the 28th we went to Berlin to visit my cousin Kristen and her husband, Alex. (He is German). It was really good to catch up and see Berlin. We visited Checkpoint Charlie, the old SS building, the wall (or what is left of it) and the Jewish museum. It was amazing to be in the center of such history! We had a good two days in Berlin and lots of laughs! Then we went back to Budapest and spent the 30th and 31st walking around and then on New Years Eve we stood on the Chain Bridge over the Danube watching the fireworks. What an experience!! The next day my dad left and even though I was sad it was still worth it to have him come :)
Then the 9th of January I went to skii camp with my school. It was good to spend my last week in Gyongyos with my classmates. Although I will say, 5 days of 7 hours of skiing is not my cup of tea. But it was still a good experience. Slovakia is so beautiful and we were surrounded by mountains. After skii camp I came home did my final packing and yesterday I moved to Budapest! My second host family are soo sweet and my bedroom window view is over Budapest! So that is really cool. (I'm in Buda, by the way). Tomorrow I start my first day at a new school so I'm super nervous. Oh well. That is all for now!